Beyond the Porch Swing
This morning, I bundled up in my “vintage” hoodie and set out for a walk. I love the spring feel in the air. And bird song, well, to me it’s God music!
Today, that wasn’t the case. The temperature out was great, but the wind wanted a fight. It was busy being a pain, when faintly, through its howling, I heard a cardinal sing. Metaphorically, I was stopped in my tracks. The reminder of God’s blessings overwhelmed me. Yet often, I don’t see them. When suffering enters the picture, my focus lands on the pain and disappointment. God always continues to bless, but the noise of the trial does it’s best hide them. One of those being the situation of my first grandchild.
More ultrasounds, determined that our granddaughter had Skeletal Dysplasia and possibly, Osteogenesis type 3, in other words, dwarfism and brittle bone disease. She had arms and legs but they were very short.
The diagnosis “knocked me over”. How did she get brittle bone disease? Dwarfism, she’s a midget or just short? As far as I knew, we had no relatives who had skeletal issues, where did it come from? How would she handle our old house full of wood floors and stairs? Would she break an arm or leg every time she fell? Those stairs needed thick carpeting! Would it do any good? How would she deal with her pain?
My praying became pleadings. Why God have You allowed this? Is this random? Are You random? If not, what’s Your purpose? PLEASE heal her!!! Are You wanting to show Your power with a miracle healing? What if You don’t, how do we handle the situation? How will her disability affect her? Oh God, show us You!
In my journal I recorded; “You are greater than our human weakness so our outcome isn’t an accident. You, therefore, allow us to suffer. You allow people to die young and sometimes tragically. You allow persecution, starvation, abuse, even of the innocent. I know You desire our character and heart, but what about the situations when we have no choice? How does slavery and violence fit in? You could prevent a lot but You don’t. Why?
Because You want to show us....our depravity? Romans 3:20 says through the law comes knowledge of sin, is it the same with physical suffering? Is it allowed for me to see my need for the One who is greater?
Is it to allow us to take action? Without problems, whom would we help? Would we become a world full of egotistical, selfish people, each thinking and acting as God?
Is it to teach us Your sweetness? Our needs require Your tender care.”
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!”
Psalms 139:13-17 ESV
This passage spoke volumes to me. My granddaughter was not an accident. God thought of, planned, purposed her from the beginning of time. He defines her preciousness and value when declaring her “fearfully and wonderfully made”. God is not mean. Rather, He wants my granddaughter and I to experience Him in a deep, personal way both here, and in Heaven.
Trials always attempt to hide blessings. Where’s my focus?
This morning, God reminded me that I can miss His tender gifts to me when I focus on the trials. The blessings are still present, but they’re hidden by pain. Just as I switched my attention from the wind, to the cardinal’s song, I need to practice seeing blessings. Then, though the pain will still exist, the journey changes.
God’s character, His magnitude, causes me awe and humility. His peace settles my fear and panic. He is in charge, even when I don’t understand or like the circumstances.
I’m declared valued and precious, and He will take care of me.
Jesus’s death and resurrection gives me the freedom to hope. Hope of new life and a future.
Holy Spirit You empower me with victory.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV
Oh, the graciousness and wonder of You God! Thank You for Your patience with me as I wrestle my way through trials. I know I fail and grumble against You, yet Your “mercy is new every morning, great is Your faithfulness!” (Lamentations 3:22-23)
Open my eyes to see You.
Strengthen me as I trust that You are who You say You are.
Remove my mind from things that hide Your blessings.
Help me to see even the smallest of Your blessings everyday, everywhere in the normal of life.
Remind me that , because of who You are, I can get off the “swing” and step off the “porch” of my life. Yes I may be afraid, but You are bigger.
May Your Holy Spirit empower me with confidence to show You to the world around me.
Thank You for this path You have purposed for me from before You created the world.
Amen.
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