Beyond the Porch Swing
Sometimes pain and fears in life hit us with force. As many of you know, the state of Nebraska has been hit with a flood. Less than a mile West of us, an entire neighborhood was demolished. We were spared. This time.
While out walking this morning, I was overwhelmed with the contradiction of sounds. It’s a beautiful day here, a crisp 31*. The birds love it, their song, a reminder of the incredible love of God. Interrupting that beautiful music, was the sound of helicopters rescuing people, animals, and bringing supplies to those who have been devastated by the flooding. The question that came to my mind is “God, how do we balance this devastation with Your love.”
Before I had left the house, I read YouVersions verse of the day so I could think about it as I walked.
“If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.”
John 13:14 ESV
I’ve been praying about what God wants me to share with you in this blog post for a good week. I’ve run into wall after wall. So at first, I was thinking this obviously meant reaching out to flood victims. But as I walked on, the prompt ”speak from your heart” kept repeating in my mind. I was reminded of a time when Jesus washed my feet. Not the cleansing of salvation, but the continual washing that I need regularly in order to grow closer to Him. It started seven years ago, almost to the day.
This is the first time I’ve written this out. I know I’ve shared it with people personally, but to put it into the cyber world is another story. I also want to give a disclaimer, this is the story of my journey through a flood, not anyone else’s.
It was mid March. My husband Kevin and I were heading down I-80 to Grand Island for supper with our daughter and son in law. It was a big deal because they just had the much awaited for, nineteen week ultrasound of our first grandchild. They would be telling us the gender. Our cell phone rings and it’s our daughter. We put her on speaker and as soon as she started talking we could hear there was something wrong. She didn’t say what, she just told us to meet them at Yonkers as they wanted to buy their baby something to celebrate it.
The heart sinks, the brain jumps into overdrive, what was wrong?
We arrive at Yonkers just as they are coming out the door. We hurry out of the car. As soon as our daughter sees us, she bursts into tears. Fear slams me. What was wrong? Had the baby died?
The answer; “They think it’s a girl, but they couldn’t see any of her arms and legs.”
This news is something very difficult to wrap ones mind around. How could that happen? Hadn’t we seen arm buds in their 8 week ultrasound? Did they mean zero arms and legs or just short? Did they know why? The questions.... At that point no one had answers. The doctors were unfamiliar with the situation. The kids were going to have to go see a specialist at the med center in Omaha as soon as they could fit them in. That frantic feeling you get when you see your life heading down a path where you really don’t want to go set in. And we would have to wait.
I don’t remember the rest of that day. I know we at supper at a restaurant, and that was the last time we could bring ourselves to eat there.
As we didn’t know many details and that the grief was new and raw, our kids wanted time to process before telling others the news. This was difficult as I wanted to look for comfort in people. Instead I was forced to turn only to God. To turn to the same God who allowed this to happen.
My relationship with God didn’t start here. As a child I was told of Him. As a young wife I learned that He alone is my salvation. And, as a wife and mother I learned how to wrestled with God. I like my own way and submitting to Him isn’t always easy. I also had spent a lot of time getting to know Him by reading, talking to, and listening to Him. The story Jesus tells in Matthew 7:24-27, about building our house on the rock and not sand, held true. However, I had never thought about how the storm in that parable , didn’t allow the house to remained in the same condition. It just says that it remained standing. Many times in the Bible, God tells His people to be ready for battle. Ugly things happen when the flood of trials come at us. Preparation is wise.
My job is longarm quilting. I work out of our home, alone. The following day, I was able to spend my time quilting listening to the new Passion 2012 cd (Passion is a Christian conference designed for college students) we had just received. The pain, the kind that makes you want to throw up, had me sobbing most of the day. The intense hurt our children were experiencing, the fear of whether their faith would be able to stand up to this had me pleading with God. And then thinking of our little granddaughter, would she be able to experience a normal, healthy life? Would she be healthy mentally? Would she be made fun of or would she be social and well received, even though she was different? I had many dreams I wanted to experience with this granddaughter, what would it all look like? I finally gave up my attempt to quilt and fell asleep.
Looking back, I don’t see it as an accident that the Passion (White Flag 2012) cd was released just then. As hard as it was to submit to this choice of God, it was also very good to fill my mind with worship to Him. He was starting to wash my feet. I was reminded that this life wasn’t about me. It’s about Him. This life isn’t for me. It’s for Him to reveal the wonder of who He is, to and through me. He is my Creator. I am His creation.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.”
Isaiah 55:8 ESV
“All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made.”
John 1:3 ESV
“Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use?”
Romans 9:21 ESV
These verses filled my mind.
This God of such incredible power, was aware of my struggle and intentionally allowed it. Yet, He wasn’t immune to my pain.
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.”
Hebrews 4:15 ESV
He knew what it was like to give up His Son. He saw His son suffered abuse, be rejected and beaten to the point of becoming unrecognizable. He then watched His Son die an excruciating death. And did His Son deserve it? No.
But I do.
I’m going to pause the story for now as it’s too long for one blog post. But I want to leave with you with a few thoughts.
It is Lent season. A time when we remember Jesus’ willingness to fast in the wilderness for 40 days and nights. As I’ve thought about that, I’m reminded that He didn’t have the conveniences that we have today. No RV’s. This wasn’t luxury camping for Him. His time was spent in a dry, rugged area that was often dangerous. Plus, He didn’t get the most choice camping companion. Satan decided he needed to show up. This experience was at the beginning of Jesus’s ministry, and I’m thinking the cost of moving forward into it was heavy on His mind. His sacrifice of obedience, out of His love for His Father, reminds me that life is about God. It isn’t about me, I’m just given the privilege to be part of God’s story.
So, why did Jesus do this?
How does His obedience to go through temptation reflect His love?
Jesus knew the purpose of His life. Yet He still chose to step into the path of pain and trials. How did life being about God effect His decision?
How did this affect His willingness to die for us?
He was willing to suffer and die for us because it was about God. Oh yes, the God part of Jesus loved us, but the human part of him was desperate for another another path (Luke 22:41-46). It was Jesus’s obedience to let go of his human will, instead choosing to embrace God as His purpose and center that sent Him to the cross.
“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”
1 John 4:10 ESV
I want to ask you;
-Is your belief in God head knowledge or have you allowed it to change your heart? Remember that even Satan believes in God. He’s even talked to Him. (Job 1:6-12)
-Where do you stand with this sacrifice out of His love for the Father that Jesus made for you?
-How does looking at life being about God change your perspective of the situation, the flood you’re facing?
Oh Jesus. I thank You for being willing to obey the Father. Thank You for the sacrifice of Yourself to death, even when You didn’t want to, as payment for my sins.
As I walk through life, thank You that Your Spirit goes with me. There is no flood of anything that can tear me away from You! Psalms 139 says there is no where I can go that You are not there. You surround me, You’ve known everything about me even before you created the world!
Search me, show me Yourself, and thank you for the sacrifice You made! You, almighty God, have bent down and washed my feet. You continue to wash my feet as You draw me closer and closer to You. Open my eyes to ways I may wash other people’s feet, because of, and in honor of You.
Amen.
While out walking this morning, I was overwhelmed with the contradiction of sounds. It’s a beautiful day here, a crisp 31*. The birds love it, their song, a reminder of the incredible love of God. Interrupting that beautiful music, was the sound of helicopters rescuing people, animals, and bringing supplies to those who have been devastated by the flooding. The question that came to my mind is “God, how do we balance this devastation with Your love.”
Before I had left the house, I read YouVersions verse of the day so I could think about it as I walked.
“If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.”
John 13:14 ESV
I’ve been praying about what God wants me to share with you in this blog post for a good week. I’ve run into wall after wall. So at first, I was thinking this obviously meant reaching out to flood victims. But as I walked on, the prompt ”speak from your heart” kept repeating in my mind. I was reminded of a time when Jesus washed my feet. Not the cleansing of salvation, but the continual washing that I need regularly in order to grow closer to Him. It started seven years ago, almost to the day.
This is the first time I’ve written this out. I know I’ve shared it with people personally, but to put it into the cyber world is another story. I also want to give a disclaimer, this is the story of my journey through a flood, not anyone else’s.
It was mid March. My husband Kevin and I were heading down I-80 to Grand Island for supper with our daughter and son in law. It was a big deal because they just had the much awaited for, nineteen week ultrasound of our first grandchild. They would be telling us the gender. Our cell phone rings and it’s our daughter. We put her on speaker and as soon as she started talking we could hear there was something wrong. She didn’t say what, she just told us to meet them at Yonkers as they wanted to buy their baby something to celebrate it.
The heart sinks, the brain jumps into overdrive, what was wrong?
We arrive at Yonkers just as they are coming out the door. We hurry out of the car. As soon as our daughter sees us, she bursts into tears. Fear slams me. What was wrong? Had the baby died?
The answer; “They think it’s a girl, but they couldn’t see any of her arms and legs.”
This news is something very difficult to wrap ones mind around. How could that happen? Hadn’t we seen arm buds in their 8 week ultrasound? Did they mean zero arms and legs or just short? Did they know why? The questions.... At that point no one had answers. The doctors were unfamiliar with the situation. The kids were going to have to go see a specialist at the med center in Omaha as soon as they could fit them in. That frantic feeling you get when you see your life heading down a path where you really don’t want to go set in. And we would have to wait.
I don’t remember the rest of that day. I know we at supper at a restaurant, and that was the last time we could bring ourselves to eat there.
As we didn’t know many details and that the grief was new and raw, our kids wanted time to process before telling others the news. This was difficult as I wanted to look for comfort in people. Instead I was forced to turn only to God. To turn to the same God who allowed this to happen.
My relationship with God didn’t start here. As a child I was told of Him. As a young wife I learned that He alone is my salvation. And, as a wife and mother I learned how to wrestled with God. I like my own way and submitting to Him isn’t always easy. I also had spent a lot of time getting to know Him by reading, talking to, and listening to Him. The story Jesus tells in Matthew 7:24-27, about building our house on the rock and not sand, held true. However, I had never thought about how the storm in that parable , didn’t allow the house to remained in the same condition. It just says that it remained standing. Many times in the Bible, God tells His people to be ready for battle. Ugly things happen when the flood of trials come at us. Preparation is wise.
My job is longarm quilting. I work out of our home, alone. The following day, I was able to spend my time quilting listening to the new Passion 2012 cd (Passion is a Christian conference designed for college students) we had just received. The pain, the kind that makes you want to throw up, had me sobbing most of the day. The intense hurt our children were experiencing, the fear of whether their faith would be able to stand up to this had me pleading with God. And then thinking of our little granddaughter, would she be able to experience a normal, healthy life? Would she be healthy mentally? Would she be made fun of or would she be social and well received, even though she was different? I had many dreams I wanted to experience with this granddaughter, what would it all look like? I finally gave up my attempt to quilt and fell asleep.
Looking back, I don’t see it as an accident that the Passion (White Flag 2012) cd was released just then. As hard as it was to submit to this choice of God, it was also very good to fill my mind with worship to Him. He was starting to wash my feet. I was reminded that this life wasn’t about me. It’s about Him. This life isn’t for me. It’s for Him to reveal the wonder of who He is, to and through me. He is my Creator. I am His creation.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.”
Isaiah 55:8 ESV
“All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made.”
John 1:3 ESV
“Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use?”
Romans 9:21 ESV
These verses filled my mind.
This God of such incredible power, was aware of my struggle and intentionally allowed it. Yet, He wasn’t immune to my pain.
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.”
Hebrews 4:15 ESV
He knew what it was like to give up His Son. He saw His son suffered abuse, be rejected and beaten to the point of becoming unrecognizable. He then watched His Son die an excruciating death. And did His Son deserve it? No.
But I do.
I’m going to pause the story for now as it’s too long for one blog post. But I want to leave with you with a few thoughts.
It is Lent season. A time when we remember Jesus’ willingness to fast in the wilderness for 40 days and nights. As I’ve thought about that, I’m reminded that He didn’t have the conveniences that we have today. No RV’s. This wasn’t luxury camping for Him. His time was spent in a dry, rugged area that was often dangerous. Plus, He didn’t get the most choice camping companion. Satan decided he needed to show up. This experience was at the beginning of Jesus’s ministry, and I’m thinking the cost of moving forward into it was heavy on His mind. His sacrifice of obedience, out of His love for His Father, reminds me that life is about God. It isn’t about me, I’m just given the privilege to be part of God’s story.
So, why did Jesus do this?
How does His obedience to go through temptation reflect His love?
Jesus knew the purpose of His life. Yet He still chose to step into the path of pain and trials. How did life being about God effect His decision?
How did this affect His willingness to die for us?
He was willing to suffer and die for us because it was about God. Oh yes, the God part of Jesus loved us, but the human part of him was desperate for another another path (Luke 22:41-46). It was Jesus’s obedience to let go of his human will, instead choosing to embrace God as His purpose and center that sent Him to the cross.
“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”
1 John 4:10 ESV
I want to ask you;
-Is your belief in God head knowledge or have you allowed it to change your heart? Remember that even Satan believes in God. He’s even talked to Him. (Job 1:6-12)
-Where do you stand with this sacrifice out of His love for the Father that Jesus made for you?
-How does looking at life being about God change your perspective of the situation, the flood you’re facing?
Oh Jesus. I thank You for being willing to obey the Father. Thank You for the sacrifice of Yourself to death, even when You didn’t want to, as payment for my sins.
As I walk through life, thank You that Your Spirit goes with me. There is no flood of anything that can tear me away from You! Psalms 139 says there is no where I can go that You are not there. You surround me, You’ve known everything about me even before you created the world!
Search me, show me Yourself, and thank you for the sacrifice You made! You, almighty God, have bent down and washed my feet. You continue to wash my feet as You draw me closer and closer to You. Open my eyes to ways I may wash other people’s feet, because of, and in honor of You.
Amen.
Beautiful post, mom! Grateful to walk those 7 years with you and dad by my side.
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